The REAL story behind Digvijay’s retraction of “India Occupied Kashmir” remark. Digvijay “had a dream” of a conversation with a Pakistani. Our sources have the transcript:
Digvijay: I am disappointed with the Prime Minister
Pakistani: Yes Modi is bellicose…
Digvijay: No No!!! I am talking of Nawaz Sharif
Pakistani: Oh? OUR Prime Minster
Digvijay: Yes! He is the only PM I recognize.
Pakistani: But why?
Digvijay: When he talks of Kashmir he uses complicated expressions like “indigenous freedom struggle” more than “India occupied Kashmir.” You see “Indi” is a town in the State of Karnataka in India. INDIgenous freedom struggle would suggest Sharif supports India’s struggle to rid Kashmir of Pakistani elements.
Pakistani: (Angrily) What do you “Pakistani elements”? Pakistan only supports Kashmiri aspirations.
Digvijay: Kashmiri aspirations? But it is India occupied Kashmir…
Pakistani: Yes! that is why Kashmiri aspirations are suppressed.
Digvijay: But where are the Indians?
Pakistani: In Kashmir ofcourse…
Digvijay: (Confused)If Indians are occupying Kashmir where are the Kashmiris?
Pakistani: (Annoyed)In Kashmir!!!
Digvijay: (Doubly confused) If Kashmiris are in Kashmir where are the Indians??
Pakistani: With Indians…(mulling using the word dim-wit) Dont u DIG it?
Digvijay: But then if Kashmiris are with the Indians how does Sharif talk of Kashmiri aspirations? I thought Kashmir should be with Pakistan.
Pakistani: (Gleefully) Yes!
Digvijay: But now that you have brought Kashmiris in where will they go?
Digvijay: But are they not already in Kashmir?
Digvijay: So why does Pakistan want Kashmiris in Kashmir when they are already in Kashmir with the Indians?
Pakistani: Because Pakistan wants to be with Kashmiris!!!
Digvijay: Oh. But I thought you named the northern part of Kashmir Gilgit-Baltistan??
Pakistani: Yes…Only because India could not cannot call it “Pakistan Occupied Kashmir”
Digvijay: But you just said Pakistan wants to occupy Kashmir. So why the objection?
Pakistani: (Starting to pull his beard) Gilgit is part of Pakistan…
Digvijay: (Hesitantly…not having hair to pull) But Gilgit was part of Kashmir…
Pakistani: (Getting ferocious) There is only Azad Kashmir!!
Digvijay: Azad Kashmir?? If Kashmir is azad how can Kashmiri aspirations not be fulfilled?
Pakistani: (Showing a map) Azad Kashmir is also part of Pakistan. It south of Gilgit…
Digvijay: (Pausing…Brooding)…NOW I GET IT! Gilgit is not Kashmir anymore. Kashmir is azad south of Gilgit. Pakistan wants India occupied Kashmir. Nothing will remain of Kashmir but Pakistan! FANTASTIC! You people are brilliant. We must learn from you.
Pakistani: (Exhausted but relieved) Now you get it?
Digvijay: Yes…But then why did the PM call it “indigenous freedom struggle”?
Pakistani: ENOUGH. Behead him!!
Digvijay got up perspiring and issued the clarification! Lets only talk of “India’s Kashmir” he said.
Some dreams fortunately or unfortunately never come true. Pakistani dream of Kashmir and Digvijay’s dream about Pakistan being cases in point!