Rahul Gandhi’s “Earthquake” & Alice In Wonderland moments!

Without joining the political battle and confining myself only to the language used in political discourse I feel that many times our “leaders” (its a disgrace at times to use this undeserved appellation) not only NEVER MEAN WHAT THEY SAY say but actually SAY WHAT THEY CANNOT MEAN. I was amused to hear Rahul Gandhi’s comment on Narendra Modi. He MEANT Modi is “QUAKING” because of the apprehended revelations. However he SAID there will be an “EARTHQUAKE” when he will speak. He COULD NOT have MEANT that because the earthquake would consume the maker (that is Rahul Gandhi) himself rendering the quaking of Modi irrelevant! So far from being EXPLOSIVE as was presumed the allegations would actually be IMPLOSIVE. And that is the EXACT OPPOSITE of what was intended to be conveyed! Orwell will surely turn in his grave. He used “DOUBLESPEAK” as a CONSCIOUS political strategy to manipulate and control the population. He never anticipated a variant of this arising SPONTANEOUSLY out of the utter banality of the speaker with consequences completely different from the original intent. That’s DOUBLESPEAK DOUBLESPEAK – we KNOW the speaker did not mean it yet WONDER what he meant with no one knowing the real meaning. The ensuing confusion enables everyone to take any meaning from it with the real meaning not known to anyone! Thus we have BJP saying Rahul Gandhi has “nothing earth-shattering to reveal” assuming what he MEANT but did not SAY but it is NOT saying that what Rahul SAID affects HIM not THEM! And AAP wonders why Rahul is NOT actually speaking out what he threatens to say UNCONCERNED that taking what Rahul SAYS literally will consume AAP in the earthquake for no fault of itself! Its the ALICE IN WONDERLAND MOMENT – the only thing is it is REAL. Wish I could say (borrowing from the work) “OFF WITH THEIR HEADS” – but in the scheme of things the heads seem irrelevant and so “off with their heads” will actually make NO difference!! ūüôā

Salman Khan & Pakistani artistes…

“Ideal situation should have been of peace. But now reaction to an action has happened. It was a proper action because they were terrorists. But in this day and age I think if we lived in peace and harmony it would have been better for everyone especially for the common people.” Thus spoke Salman Khan protesting banning of Pakistani artistes.

For Salman Khan the Uri attack and killing of 19 Indians was merely “an action” – a physical fact to which one can be indifferent and which can carry not attribute of right or wrong! ¬†This is a flawed premise which cannot but doom the conclusion which follows.

India, according to him, did not respond¬†(that is did not act in a thoughtful or reasoned manner) but “reacted”¬†that is acted thoughtlessly and impulsively to the action which brings both countries at par with nothing to distinguish between them. India responded not reacted as it moved mindfully against specified targets to prevent infiltration into the country which Pakistan has no right to permit.

I presume what he called “proper action” actually implied “proper reaction” unless he feels that terrorist infiltration into India is proper with which point of view I cannot have a reasoned discourse. If however the reaction was “proper” then he cannot simultaneously rue the want of “peace and harmony” because a proper reaction is a restore a disturbed equilibrium and impose restraint to curb injuries of excess.

Peace and harmony can be an end in itself only if the intention is shared. It is always the preferred state of existence but in an interactive environment that goal can be achieved only when actions are conducive towards that end. The Pakistani track-record (to which Salman Khan does not allude) needs to take the blame for want of peace and harmony. Pakistan has to be condemned for Pakistani artistes losing work in India. Have any of the Pakistani artistes spoken? If they are not affected whose case is Salman Khan espousing?

Pakistani artistes may not be terrorists but who amongst them have called the terrorists terrorists? And will these artistes not endorse the official Pakistani line both on Kashmir and terrorism on which Pakistan justifies the repeated disturbances in India? How can Pakistan be defeated unless the mindset which drives Pakistan be vanquished? And how can that mindset be vanquished without quelling those who endorse it overtly or covertly? This is not a question of mere politics but survival of India as India and art cannot be the Trojan Horse for India’s defeat in its battle for existence. India wants its position to be accepted as that acceptance gives India the justification to resist Pakistan. If we host those who are not aligned with India’s interests how can we isolate those hostile to it and prove the seriousness of our intent to do it?

Salman Khan may feel sorry for Pakistani artistes friends. But he should also wonder whether his friends feel sorry India.

KAPIL SHARMA’S ACHHE DIN SHOW!

Kapil Sharma before demolition of illegal structures:

Talking to a friend: These are Achhe Din! I am burning trees every night to make extension of my building. I am also making unauthorised construction on the 9th floor of my apartment. One Chaubal has made a complaint and BMC has issued me a Stop Work Notice but I do not care. I am paying Rs 15 crore as tax so forget how much I am declaring and just imagine how much I am making. All celebrities host me in my own show and I just pretend I am hosting them. I will be movie star in my own right soon. Modi ji is great. These are really Achhe Din!

Kapil Sharma after demolition of illegal structures:

Tweet: Yeh hai apke achhe din?? I am paying 15 crore as income tax for the last 5 years and have to pay 5 lakh bribe to BMC officials for making my office!

BMC:

He pays 15 crore as income tax? And bribe just 5 lakhs?? Ab hamare Acche din aaenge

Politicians other than BJP:

He tagged Modi! Good. Now we will target him. Hamare Achhe Din shuru! Congress and BSP join the chorus.

BJP:

These ARE Achhe Din. Why is Kapil Sharma thinking only of himself. All he needed to do was file a complaint. Law would have taken its course. Name the culprit.

Kapil in a spin…Broods. When I said yeh hain AAPKE achhe din I was only complaining about mine not handing OTHERS any opportunity for achhe din. That is Mr Modi’s business!Now everyone is happy aside from ME!!

Mr Modi:

This is bringing a bad name to Achhe Din. Take action immediately.

BMC:

There are many more illegalities both in Goregaon and Versova! We will take action against all of them. Bribes may have kept some of us quiet earlier but we will take stern action now. Achhe Din Modi Style for BMC with respect to Kapil Sharma!

Politicians other than BJP:

Got them on the mat! These are Achhe Din.

BJP:

See action has been taken immediately. Who can deny these are Achhe Din?

Kapil Sharma:

Demolition Notices received. Complaint against me contemplated. Bribes not working anymore. System is functional. Politicians are not obliging by intervening. I cannot complain to Modi anymore. My next tweet: Mujhe apni shakal bilkul achhi nahin lagti.  Yeh hain MERE achhe din?!

LOUD NOISE in the background! Siddhu laughing. He laughs at every Kapil Sharma Show…

 

SCOOP or PARODY?-Nawaz Sharif’s interview on 22 Kashmir Envoys!

Nawaz Sharif talking to a reporter:

Sharif: We will send 22 Special Envoys for Kashmir to different countries

Reporter: There are 196 countries. And you have 342 seats in the National assembly and 104 Senators. Why not send all the Senators and the remaining from the National Assembly to the 196 countries? Will that not show you are serious about the issue?

Sharif: Number 22 in numerology is the number of Spiritual Master Builder and when the number senses its full capacity ¬†it can achieve what is hardly imaginable… Besides someone has to remain in Pakistan lest there is coup!!

Reporter: Considering your choice of the Spiritual Master Number you think Kashmir as you contemplate is not imaginable?

Sharif: (Angrily) No…I mean not imaginable to India!

Reporter: But its Pakistan which is sending the envoys!

Sharif: Yes. But Pakistan wants India to get the message.

Reporter: Why not send the message directly to India?

Sharif: India has got the message from my statement…

Reporter: If India has already got the message why send the envoys?

Sharif: (In a huff) You have another question?

Reporter: You said the measure is to send “prayers of Kashmiri people across Line of Control.” There is Kashmir on both sides of Line of Control. Whose prayers are you sending.

Sharif: Those on the Indian side ofcourse.

Reporter: What about the prayers of those on the Pakistani side?

Sharif: China is agnostic.

Reporter: (Confused)…

Sharif: Its not Pakistan alone but Pakistan and China on the other side. Even Pakistanis cant pray there.

Reporter: Oh! And who conveyed the prayers to you to be sent through the envoys?

Sharif: (Angrily) Convey prayers!!! Though Amanullah Khan of JKLF passed away recently Hafiz Saeed and Zaki ur-Rehman Lakhvi are in Pakistan. All those who sincerely pray for Kashmir are Pakistan only. Their prayers will be conveyed. Even indians prefer to be in Pakistan. Look at Dawood. His prayers will also be sent.

Reporter: What about your Embassies and Ambassadors? Why Special Envoys

Sharif: You see Pakistan Independence day was celebrated as Freedom for Kashmir. That was the first step. Pakistanis becoming Kashmir Envoys is the second. In due course the Embassies of Pakistan will become Kashmir Embassies. We will also rename Pakistan and change the flag too.

Reporter: But there is more to Pakistan than Kashmir. There are eight administrative units in Pakistan.

Sharif: Yes. But you see there is unrest in Balochistan. We are facing problem in Gilgit. There is also problem in Azad Kashmir. The Pashtuns are not integrated in FATA. And there is militancy in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa. These together make up majority of the territory of Pakistan. We need a place to rest outside Pakistan as we are always fighting within the Pakistani territory. Kashmir fits the bill.

Reporter: And what about prayers of Pakistanis?

Sharif: Hahaha! We run the government. And we prefer to PREY!

 

Digvijay’s Dream AND “India Occupied Kashmir” remark!

The REAL story behind Digvijay’s retraction of “India Occupied Kashmir” remark. Digvijay “had a dream” of a conversation with a Pakistani. Our sources have the transcript:

Digvijay: I am disappointed with the Prime Minister

Pakistani: Yes Modi is bellicose…

Digvijay: No No!!! I am talking of Nawaz Sharif

Pakistani: Oh? OUR Prime Minster

Digvijay: Yes! He is the only PM I recognize.

Pakistani: But why?

Digvijay: When he talks of Kashmir he uses complicated expressions like “indigenous ¬†freedom struggle” more than “India occupied Kashmir.” You see “Indi” is a town in the State of Karnataka in India. INDIgenous freedom struggle would suggest Sharif supports India’s struggle to rid Kashmir of Pakistani elements.

Pakistani: (Angrily) What do you “Pakistani elements”? Pakistan only supports Kashmiri aspirations.

Digvijay: Kashmiri aspirations? But it is India occupied Kashmir…

Pakistani: Yes! that is why Kashmiri aspirations are suppressed.

Digvijay: But where are the Indians?

Pakistani: In Kashmir ofcourse…

Digvijay: (Confused)If Indians are occupying Kashmir where are the Kashmiris?

Pakistani: (Annoyed)In Kashmir!!!

Digvijay: (Doubly confused) If Kashmiris are in Kashmir where are the Indians??

Pakistani: With Indians…(mulling using the word dim-wit) Dont u DIG it?

Digvijay: But then if Kashmiris are with the Indians how does Sharif talk of Kashmiri aspirations? I thought Kashmir should be with Pakistan.

Pakistani: (Gleefully) Yes!

Digvijay: But now that you have brought Kashmiris in where will they go?

Pakistani: Kashmir!

Digvijay: But are they not already in Kashmir?

Pakistani: Yes.

Digvijay: So why does Pakistan want Kashmiris in Kashmir when they are already in Kashmir with the Indians?

Pakistani: Because Pakistan wants to be with Kashmiris!!!

Digvijay: Oh. But I thought you named the northern part of Kashmir Gilgit-Baltistan??

Pakistani: Yes…Only because India could not cannot call it “Pakistan Occupied Kashmir”

Digvijay: But you just said Pakistan wants to occupy Kashmir. So why the objection?

Pakistani: (Starting to pull his beard) Gilgit is part of Pakistan…

Digvijay: (Hesitantly…not having hair to pull) But Gilgit was part of Kashmir…

Pakistani: (Getting ferocious) There is only Azad Kashmir!!

Digvijay: Azad Kashmir?? If Kashmir is azad how can Kashmiri aspirations not be fulfilled?

Pakistani: (Showing a map) Azad Kashmir is also part of Pakistan. It south of Gilgit…

Digvijay: (Pausing…Brooding)…NOW I GET IT! Gilgit is not Kashmir anymore. Kashmir is azad south of Gilgit. Pakistan wants India occupied Kashmir. Nothing will remain of Kashmir but Pakistan! FANTASTIC! You people are brilliant. We must learn from you.

Pakistani: (Exhausted but relieved) Now you get it?

Digvijay: Yes…But then why did the PM call it “indigenous freedom struggle”?

Pakistani: ENOUGH. Behead him!!

Digvijay got up perspiring and issued the clarification! Lets only talk of “India’s Kashmir” he said.

Some dreams fortunately or unfortunately never come true. Pakistani dream of Kashmir and Digvijay’s dream about Pakistan being cases in point!

COURT, CONSTITUTION,CHAAL-CHALAN & ARUNACHAL

“Status quo ante as on 15.12.2015” was the order passed by the Supreme Court in the Arunachal Pradesh case.

Tuki should have been the Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh.

But Tuki resigned.

Pema Khandu instead shall be the Chief Minister.

Pema Khandu however was sought to be disqualified by the Speaker who was acting in tandem with the Chief Minister Tuki and this was the reason for the Governor to pass his Order of 9.12.2015  which was set aside by the Supreme Court to order status quo. But Khandu not Tuki will take oath as the Chief Minister.

The Supreme Court said the Governor was wrong. But the Supreme Court also said that the Speaker was wrong. So Pema Khandu could not be disqualified. But if Pema Khandu could not be disqualified how could the Governor’s Order against the disqualifying be wrong? And if the Governor’s Order was wrong and the Speaker was right Khandu could not become the Chief Minister!

The Supreme Court felt Governor could not have exercised discretionary powers outside constitutional sanction. However Tuki admittedly (as Khandu’s becoming Chief Minister itself shows) did not enjoy support of the support majority in the Legislative Assembly. It was for this reason that the Speaker locked up the Legislative Assembly itself and did not earlier respond to any communication from the Governor aside from combining with Tuki to threaten the Governor at his residence. ¬†How is the foisting of Tuki who lost confidence of the Assembly which could not be demonstrated in the Assembly because the Assembly itself was locked aside from resorting to extraconstitutional means against a high constitutional functionary constitutionally sanctioned?

Did the Governor act at his whim (which is not constitutionally sanctioned) or “under the Constitution” which is? If those (the Chief Minister and Speaker) who have to comply (by responding to messages of the Governor and holding the Assembly Session as mandated aside from taking law into their own hands) choose to defy is the Constitution is the Governor supposed to acquiesce in the illegality and gross impropriety and not enjoined to act correct a wrong which would otherwise be un-redressed?

Kalikho Phul was the Chief Minister replaced by the Supreme Court and Tuki placed in the saddle. Phul supports Khandu not Tuki and with is support Khandu not Tuki is the Chief Minster and Khandu himself had supported Phul when the latter was Chief Minister. Phul too was sought to be disqualified by the Speaker which was the reason why the Governor passed the Order and sent the Message both of which were set aside by the Supreme Court.

Now both Khandu and Phul are part of the ruling dispensation and Tuki is out abandoning new allies and invoking the old ones.

Is this the case of politics stumping both law and values and has the “whim” of the Governor been vindicated not the “reasoned order” of the Supreme Court?

THE SKILL INDIA AD – A POSER

The SKILL INDIA advertisement featuring Sachin Tendulkar credits skill at the expense of dignity.

One sees Sachin sit on a chair while the carpenter sits on the floor as they talk and have tea. Why could both not be shown sitting on a chair and talking?

Apart from skill, personhood carries value too. Why hold anyone down whether skilled or not?

A patronising attitude carries an arrogance of superiority  which shifts attention to the symbolic generosity of a patron from the worth of the patronised and re-enforces the very inequality which it pretends to redress.

And if an ascribed status will continue despite achievement, as the advertisement suggests, what merit will inculcation of skill attain?

The advertisement presents status as an entrenched power and fails to present skill as being versatile.

Skill is meant to be assertive and itinerant unlike status which is inhibitive and immobile. The advertisement focusses on the status of the carpenter not his skill.

Skill is dynamic unlike status which is sterile and moribund. Yet it is precisely that which the last shot of the advertisement displays.

Skill has to be achieved but any effort in this direction will be futile unless there is a corresponding correction in attitude.

It is the right attitude (Tendulkar making the other sit on the chair) alone which can facilitate social mobility (symbolised in the carpenter also so sitting) to improve our cultural capital (recognition of the innate worth of a human being aside from skill trumping status) and unravel the social stratification which the advertisement puts on display.